thePlace

            In Taipei airport after 13 hours of the midnight flight. Hardly slept and ate.  A little dazed and definitely inflamed eyes.  

            This is the longest time I spent in SF since I intermittently moved away in 1999.  For some reasons I feel I’m not the same person as the one who left Bali in July.  Now that I have given up on a professional career and have taken up a path, the journey, ascribable only on the unexpected turns of chance or karma are revealing new and exciting phenomenon. It has been an intense 4 months – although far from enough I have learned so much.  From gardening, Buddhist teachings, yoga asanas and meditation to meeting some very interesting people while in Italy for 2 weeks.  I took on different projects because of the feeling, perhaps inchoate, that it may in some way contribute to the deeper understanding of the larger scale project of spiritual and physical work I have chosen. 

            Most connections are cursory and will end up, if not already none recallable.   There are a few I cherish and hope the connections will be lasting ones.  As usual, I found myself running out of time even though I desire for a more profound significance – the problem of an unsettled life.

            More than ever, the desire to learn and grow is burning so strongly that it aches my heart. Although it’s an exciting time, I feel more alone. There is a lingering sadness that seems impermeable to outside influence.  Perhaps sadness isn’t the right word, it’s not an overwhelming or a bad feeling – just whole bunch of tenderness towards myself and the world.  Maybe it’s because I feel my limitedness, there’s so much to learn, to grow, to do, to feel….I wish to reach up to heaven, kiss the earth and touch other lives.

 

            I will be going back to a different life. A life I have somewhat familiarized myself in for less than 3 months before leaving for SF.  Now it’s the time to deepen the experience, to finish the project.

            While away I have tried my best to keep in contact with Made through email and sms. Except for a couple of glitches, things seem to be going ok with the Place.  The ownership certificate seems to have been sucked up by the Indonesian administration black hole. The spring water from the hill has to be protected and filtered – the water pipes have to be repaired almost every other day. The spring water analysis is good but shows some unwanted bacteria.  Although I have accepted Made’s proposal for the cost, the seller, Pak Totok, who has agreed in the purchase contract to pay for half of the build up cost, seems to ignore Made’s plea to meet.

            I haven’t expected a smooth sailing expedition.  Things have to be deal with as they come….

            Still I’m not overly excited with the prospect of the cold shower that awaits me; it’ll take me quite awhile to get used to the numbingly shocking first dipper.