thePlace

            I smell the burning wood. I hear the wind soughs through the oversize leaves of Breadfruit trees, the distant sounds fill the air - baby crying, random crows of roosters, incoherent gentle hollering of villagers, dogs barking, faint ceremony wailings, murmuring screech of speeding motorbikes, birds chirping… In the quietness of the Space, all these humming and thudding are part of the sound of silence. They are melodious because they belong. 

            I finished the Project’s accounting. Learned a new program – Microsoft Excel, played with it and proceeded to make ‘Book 1’ looks like a real professional with up-to-date totals, comments, colored and all.  Staring at the numbers, the things I know for certain are that quickly and surely the amount spent on the Place is mounting, the certificate of ownership will take a long time to materialized – still waiting for the property surveyor to do the measurement, major works have to be done with the water pipes and the source of the spring water - the seller has negated his promise to meet repeatedly, the House and the Pool are going through major overhauling to correct the capriciousness of the builders…. Another one of those ‘endless list’ I have to face.  

            Although the starting and working of the Project thus far have adhered to strict Balinese horoscope, spirits and gods have been appeased by continuous offerings, land has been cleansed; the hope of moving into the House any time soon seems like a far-away dream. I have no say in any of these of course, I just let them be, with respect – the Balinese can’t do it any other way.  Still I wonder the effectiveness of all these extravagant practices.

            It’s interesting watching how the locals work- one has to have the good humor of seeing beauty and finding reasons in things the locals do, no matter how frustrating it is.  It’s hard to understand their decisions making process - specific instructions with accompanying pictures showing the details are ignored and questions are not asked.  Instead decisions seem to base on the calling of awkwardness and paranormal impulses that contradict convenience and logic. Here, consistency is irrelevant.  

            Or perhaps it is just that my limited so-called logical sense has missed the point of Balinese-way-of-going-with-the-flow.  

            So light switches are placed at the most inconvenient places, the erratic height of the steps in the stairs are created as if to please an unseen floating apparition with no legs; the color of the wall is garishly pink; the stairs to the room upstairs are built outside and not part of the house – one has to go out of the house to go upstairs and in the rain if there is a storm; the tree is planted to block the view instead of giving shade; trees have to be removed and replanted because the structures are built too close to the already planted trees, kitchen counter is made without thinking of the appliances to be used, the veranda made is unproportionally small and has to be extended…. I asked for steps to be made in the pool- which I have explained and painstaking found a picture to show to the contractor.  Instead tiny concrete seats with column that spend the depth of the pool are built. And in direct opposite of each other cutting off the width of the pool into almost half!  I almost scream at the sight – who would in the right mind think of building such a horrid looking, space-taking things! 

            Those columnar seats have nothing in common with what I told and showed them to do.  Why didn’t anyone ask if they are unsure????

            Unless of course, if they are trying to make a chess set out of the pool!

            Then there are the irreversible unthinkable mistakes that I have to deal with, like the possible water seepage, etc. Why they did what they did when they are experience builders (I have seen some of the works they did) – is a total mystery to me. 

            Perhaps I should find out just how my presumed betters are violating the locals sense of code of norm.  Maybe I should rapidly grasp the deeper mores and etiquettes of my new surroundings, and start communicating effectively…make them start writing down things on their own, get a list on the wall to refer to when there are questions … or I would just have to be there daily to keep close surveillance.

            Sitting under the glaringly lit Space (the 40W bulbs have been replaced by florescence tubes), I stare into the darkness.   A few distant lights glitter above the outlying tree tops horizon at the end of the paddy field.  The veiled orange moon hazily rose above the murky clouds.  The exultant chorus of the frogs deafeningly rises from all directions celebrating the beginning of the monsoon.   Not too far away, the ceremonial wail-like singing from the temple drones in a faintly tarnished languor; in a forcible minor note, occasionally pierces through the harmonious clucking of the frogs. 

           

            Tired of digging into the mind-numbingly boring ‘Learn how to Design Website’ book, the mind effortlessly turns to the blackness of the background beyond. A slight breeze brushes my face, the silhouette of banana leafs swinging stylishly.   It’s a cool night after the late afternoon rain.  The air is intermixed with the smell of burning incense offered to the spirits and fresh out greens. Breathing in the bucolic bliss, I have no desire to seek another climate, another landscape. 

            It feels good now that I am no longer immured in the stale air and spotless façade of a locked dwelling in the cold west.   It’s good to be back to the Space - back to the open warm air, back to the uninterrupted foliage, back to the slow rustic idyll – along with the cold shower, the insect bites, trash that flows through the paddy flooding gutter below. Back to the aloneness and simplicity – a state I cherish more now after almost 4 months of excessiveness and somewhat draining living situation.

            Wonder when I can move into the Place.

            Visited the Place this morning.  Although Made has promised that the house will be ready by the time of my return, the house is far from being ready.  In dismay I instructed the kitchen tiles and sink to be replaced, wall to be knocked down and rebuilt, paint to be mixed and repainted, etc.  I have to mix the paints Made uses and taught the workers to make a palette of softer tone.  The separate outdoor entrance to the room upstairs is unacceptable – how Made decided that it is appropriate is beyond me; even in light of some impossible rocks discovered underground.  Short of dynamiting the rock, I ripped my brain to come up with a practicable solution to include the stairs and the room as part of the house.  I certainly don’t want the House to look like a duplex.

            The pool is about 2 months behind – still a huge mass around the half-done rectangular dark opening.

            I’m quite happy with the garden, it’s sufficiently green and earthworms are found!

            Today the workers are off because of the usual inveterate participation of ceremonies.  In the land of spirits and gods, religious and family ceremonies take precedent from everything else in life.

            Soon the work will be trammeled by the daily rain too. 

           

            This is all part of the hard truth of living in Bali. My only consolation –  the situation is the training ground for fortitude.  No point blustering protests to Made, perhaps blandishment might works better.

            In Taipei airport after 13 hours of the midnight flight. Hardly slept and ate.  A little dazed and definitely inflamed eyes.  

            This is the longest time I spent in SF since I intermittently moved away in 1999.  For some reasons I feel I’m not the same person as the one who left Bali in July.  Now that I have given up on a professional career and have taken up a path, the journey, ascribable only on the unexpected turns of chance or karma are revealing new and exciting phenomenon. It has been an intense 4 months – although far from enough I have learned so much.  From gardening, Buddhist teachings, yoga asanas and meditation to meeting some very interesting people while in Italy for 2 weeks.  I took on different projects because of the feeling, perhaps inchoate, that it may in some way contribute to the deeper understanding of the larger scale project of spiritual and physical work I have chosen. 

            Most connections are cursory and will end up, if not already none recallable.   There are a few I cherish and hope the connections will be lasting ones.  As usual, I found myself running out of time even though I desire for a more profound significance – the problem of an unsettled life.

            More than ever, the desire to learn and grow is burning so strongly that it aches my heart. Although it’s an exciting time, I feel more alone. There is a lingering sadness that seems impermeable to outside influence.  Perhaps sadness isn’t the right word, it’s not an overwhelming or a bad feeling – just whole bunch of tenderness towards myself and the world.  Maybe it’s because I feel my limitedness, there’s so much to learn, to grow, to do, to feel….I wish to reach up to heaven, kiss the earth and touch other lives.

 

            I will be going back to a different life. A life I have somewhat familiarized myself in for less than 3 months before leaving for SF.  Now it’s the time to deepen the experience, to finish the project.

            While away I have tried my best to keep in contact with Made through email and sms. Except for a couple of glitches, things seem to be going ok with the Place.  The ownership certificate seems to have been sucked up by the Indonesian administration black hole. The spring water from the hill has to be protected and filtered – the water pipes have to be repaired almost every other day. The spring water analysis is good but shows some unwanted bacteria.  Although I have accepted Made’s proposal for the cost, the seller, Pak Totok, who has agreed in the purchase contract to pay for half of the build up cost, seems to ignore Made’s plea to meet.

            I haven’t expected a smooth sailing expedition.  Things have to be deal with as they come….

            Still I’m not overly excited with the prospect of the cold shower that awaits me; it’ll take me quite awhile to get used to the numbingly shocking first dipper.